Linus Collects His Winnings
Scene opens on Linus and Tom standing at the redemption window of the OTB. Tom is grinning from ear to ear, while Linus remains stoic. The teller is shuffling papers in front of them, pointing at the various spots where Linus needs to sign.
Teller: And finally, Mr. Blackjack, if you’ll sign here and initial here, I’ll print that check for you.
Linus: Thank you.
Tom (murmuring to himself): One hundred thousand dollars
Tom turns to Linus: One hundred fucking thousand dollars!!
Linus: I told you it was a good tip.
The teller brings the check and presents it to Linus, along with various copies of tax forms. Linus and Tom are walking through the casino on their way to the exit. As they exit to the street, Tom is still grinning wildly.
Tom: I still can’t understand how you did it. I’ve been gambling for years and never had that kind of luck. And that horse!! What in the world made you bet on him? Never won a race before; never above third place. And his name!! Dapper Dan! I would have figured you’d avoid him based on the name alone. How do you do it? A ten to one shot!
Linus: Audentes fortuna juvat.
Tom: Yeah, I know fortune favors the stupid.
Linus: That’s bold, assbag! Remember, I’m the one with all the money.
Tom: So are you going to share your secret with me? How does your system work?
Linus: A true genius never reveals his secrets.
Tom: What’s that they say about there being only a thin line between insanity and genius? You can at least tell me who you got the horse tip from. A guy like that could come in handy.
Linus: We’ve got bigger fish to fry, Tom. We’ve got to get a car and get to Indy. We’ve got a wedding to crash.
By this time, Tom and Linus have flagged down a cab and are sitting inside of it.
Linus (to the cabby): Take us to the nearest Cadillac dealership.
Tom: I guess we’ll be traveling in style.
Linus: I’ll be traveling in style. You’ll be accompanying me.
Tom: Whatever, smartass. Just how are we supposed to go about busting up this wedding and winning you your girl back?
Linus: That’s why I’m bringing you along – creative support. I figure we’ve got about twenty-five hundred miles of road between here and Indy. I’m sure you’ll come up with something.
Tom: I told you before man, I’m just coming along to see how it all turns out; well, that and the fact that I never could turn down a road trip.
The cab pulls into the Cadillac dealership and drops them off.
Cabby (in a Middle-Eastern accent): That’s $12.75, sirs.
Linus hands the cabby a twenty and he and Tom exit the cab. Scene ends with Tom (still grinning) and Linus standing google-eyed in front of a brand new Escalade.
Teller: And finally, Mr. Blackjack, if you’ll sign here and initial here, I’ll print that check for you.
Linus: Thank you.
Tom (murmuring to himself): One hundred thousand dollars
Tom turns to Linus: One hundred fucking thousand dollars!!
Linus: I told you it was a good tip.
The teller brings the check and presents it to Linus, along with various copies of tax forms. Linus and Tom are walking through the casino on their way to the exit. As they exit to the street, Tom is still grinning wildly.
Tom: I still can’t understand how you did it. I’ve been gambling for years and never had that kind of luck. And that horse!! What in the world made you bet on him? Never won a race before; never above third place. And his name!! Dapper Dan! I would have figured you’d avoid him based on the name alone. How do you do it? A ten to one shot!
Linus: Audentes fortuna juvat.
Tom: Yeah, I know fortune favors the stupid.
Linus: That’s bold, assbag! Remember, I’m the one with all the money.
Tom: So are you going to share your secret with me? How does your system work?
Linus: A true genius never reveals his secrets.
Tom: What’s that they say about there being only a thin line between insanity and genius? You can at least tell me who you got the horse tip from. A guy like that could come in handy.
Linus: We’ve got bigger fish to fry, Tom. We’ve got to get a car and get to Indy. We’ve got a wedding to crash.
By this time, Tom and Linus have flagged down a cab and are sitting inside of it.
Linus (to the cabby): Take us to the nearest Cadillac dealership.
Tom: I guess we’ll be traveling in style.
Linus: I’ll be traveling in style. You’ll be accompanying me.
Tom: Whatever, smartass. Just how are we supposed to go about busting up this wedding and winning you your girl back?
Linus: That’s why I’m bringing you along – creative support. I figure we’ve got about twenty-five hundred miles of road between here and Indy. I’m sure you’ll come up with something.
Tom: I told you before man, I’m just coming along to see how it all turns out; well, that and the fact that I never could turn down a road trip.
The cab pulls into the Cadillac dealership and drops them off.
Cabby (in a Middle-Eastern accent): That’s $12.75, sirs.
Linus hands the cabby a twenty and he and Tom exit the cab. Scene ends with Tom (still grinning) and Linus standing google-eyed in front of a brand new Escalade.
posted by Duffy Cox at 1:52 AM
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