Scene 5 Houston Texas 7/14

It's just after 4:00 pm it's a scoorching hot afternoon.

Tom and Linus are sitting in the Escalade in asphalt parking lot.

You can see the heat rising around them.

Linus: Hey Saltine!

Tom is startled awake in the back seat. He has drool running down the side of his face.

Tom: huh! whats wrong? Where are we?

Linus: Cracker chill the fuck out! Were here.

Tom: Where?

Linus: Will you wake the fuck up retard?

For Chissakes, you've been asleep for 16 hours.

I've done all the driving.

Tom: Well, I'm up now. And I drove the first 8 hours.

Where's that weed?

Linus: obviously you don't need any weed. You couldn't be anymore relaxed.

Tom: Okay but I get some later. Where are we anyway?

Linus: We're in Houston. Minute Maid Park to be exact.

Tom: And were here why?

Linus: I told you we had to make a stop.

Tom: At a baseball game?

Linus: At a baseball game? (smarmy voice)

Yes you fuck at a baseball game.

The Cubs are playing the Astros and I have box seats right behind the Visitor's dugout.

Tom: Well let's go.

As they climb out into the glaring sunshine you see a sign for VIP parking.

Linus tosses the keys to a young kid in a red vest and slides a folded

$20 bill into his hand.

Linus: (very quietly) Keep it nearby, we won;t be gone too long.

Valet: Of course sir it'll be right over here.

Tom: Come on let's go were missin the game.

Linus: Hold your fucking shorts on.

We still have to pick up our tickets over here at will call.

They turn the corner and walk up to the will call window.

Linus: (trying to appear as if he'snot looking at the name tag on her vest)

Maria, I need to pick up some tickets for Michael Browning.

Maria: Yes sir, here they are.

I just need to see some I.D.

Linus: No problem, Here you go. (Linus pulls out a Utah driver's license

it has his picture and the name Michael Browning on it)

Maria: And you'll be leaving this on the Master Card Sir?

Linus: Yes Maria and I need to leave 1 tick here for a Mr. Donnie Baker.

Maria: Okay sir here are 2 for you and I will hold the third for Mr. Baker.

Linus: Thanks Maria, you have a great day.

as they walk towards the entrance Tom has a confused look on his face

Tom: What the fuck was that about Linus?

Linus: Sorry, I will have to fill you in later. Call me Michael for now.

Tom: okay, Michael. Who the hell is Donnie Baker?

Linus: You know Donnie Baker from Bob and Tom.

Tom: We're meeting him? He's real?

Linus: No, you fuck, that's a code name.

He's almost as fucking obnoxious as you that is why he picked that name.

Tom: You Swear to God Man?

Linus: I swear to God. Now shut the fuck up and let's watch a little ball.

Donnie will be here in a little bit and then you can drive us the

rest of the way back while I sleep in the back seat.

The scene fades to Linus and Tom finding their seats and the Cubs

taking the field for the top of the third inning.

Scene 6 opens with Julianne Chamberland and Dan Whitaker having dinner at some hoe in the wall. She is wearing oversized sunglasses and a long sleeve blouse on a 90 degree day.

Linus Collects His Winnings

Scene opens on Linus and Tom standing at the redemption window of the OTB. Tom is grinning from ear to ear, while Linus remains stoic. The teller is shuffling papers in front of them, pointing at the various spots where Linus needs to sign.

Teller: And finally, Mr. Blackjack, if you’ll sign here and initial here, I’ll print that check for you.

Linus: Thank you.

Tom (murmuring to himself): One hundred thousand dollars
Tom turns to Linus: One hundred fucking thousand dollars!!

Linus: I told you it was a good tip.

The teller brings the check and presents it to Linus, along with various copies of tax forms. Linus and Tom are walking through the casino on their way to the exit. As they exit to the street, Tom is still grinning wildly.

Tom: I still can’t understand how you did it. I’ve been gambling for years and never had that kind of luck. And that horse!! What in the world made you bet on him? Never won a race before; never above third place. And his name!! Dapper Dan! I would have figured you’d avoid him based on the name alone. How do you do it? A ten to one shot!

Linus: Audentes fortuna juvat.

Tom: Yeah, I know fortune favors the stupid.

Linus: That’s bold, assbag! Remember, I’m the one with all the money.

Tom: So are you going to share your secret with me? How does your system work?

Linus: A true genius never reveals his secrets.

Tom: What’s that they say about there being only a thin line between insanity and genius? You can at least tell me who you got the horse tip from. A guy like that could come in handy.

Linus: We’ve got bigger fish to fry, Tom. We’ve got to get a car and get to Indy. We’ve got a wedding to crash.

By this time, Tom and Linus have flagged down a cab and are sitting inside of it.

Linus (to the cabby): Take us to the nearest Cadillac dealership.

Tom: I guess we’ll be traveling in style.

Linus: I’ll be traveling in style. You’ll be accompanying me.

Tom: Whatever, smartass. Just how are we supposed to go about busting up this wedding and winning you your girl back?

Linus: That’s why I’m bringing you along – creative support. I figure we’ve got about twenty-five hundred miles of road between here and Indy. I’m sure you’ll come up with something.

Tom: I told you before man, I’m just coming along to see how it all turns out; well, that and the fact that I never could turn down a road trip.

The cab pulls into the Cadillac dealership and drops them off.

Cabby (in a Middle-Eastern accent): That’s $12.75, sirs.

Linus hands the cabby a twenty and he and Tom exit the cab. Scene ends with Tom (still grinning) and Linus standing google-eyed in front of a brand new Escalade.

7/12 4:17 pm Straughn, Indiana

Scene opens on a very muggy Indiana afternoon.
Sky is clear and the sun beats down on the acres of corn surrounding Julieanne Chamberland.

Julieanne steps onto the front porch of the old farm house. (Julieanne looks like a young Meg Ryan. Before Russell Crowe came along and fucked her up for good. mid-late 20's short blonde hair. She has a great smile but you can see that she is exhausted. She has just gotten home from the beauty shop)
The wooden screen door slams shut behind her. She is talking into a cordless phone that looks something like a cell phone from 1985.

Julieanne: Hang on just a minute Jenny.
(shouting) Linus! Linus! Here boy. Come on Linus. It's dinner time.

Linus: woof, woof (barking as he turns the corner of the house and climbs up on the porch)
he doesn't waste any time as he digs into the left overs from last nights dinner.

Julieanne: Good boy. You're such a good puppy. Yes you are. I just wish you weren't named after him.
Okay Jenny I'm back.

Jenny: (over the phone) What was all of that?

Julieanne: Oh, I was just feeding Linus. I'm kind of worried about him living outside like this. He always looks sick.

Jenny: Why don't you bring him in?

Julieanne: Oh, you know. Dan won't let me. He hates him. He can't stand that he is named after Linus. He hates him so much after everything that happened. I am really worried about the wedding. I just hope it doesn't get ugly. I really just hope that Linus is smart enough to turn down my invitation. Surely he knows I only sent it to be polite. We don't even talk anymore.


(Julieanne sits down on the front porch swing and kicks her shoes off.)
Jenny: You say that like you are upset by it.

Julieanne: (fighting the truth) hmm? oh about talking to Linus. No, that is the past. I have Dan now.

Jenny: Are you sure about all of this?

Julieanne: What, the wedding? Of course I am. Dan is good to me. I couldn't ask for anything better. He's just having a rough time right now. It's not his fault Chrysler closed down in New Castle 2 years ago. He's been lookin real hard for work. Besides, We make it by on my jobs. I know the dinner doesn't pay that well, but I make plenty of money over at Wal-Mart. I just wish he could get that other car running so I would have to bum rides all of the time.

Jenny: Where's he been looking for work?

Julieanne: I am not sure but he goes out everyday. Just as soon as get back from Wal-Mart around 10:00 am he gets out of bed and goes to lookin. Afterwards he meets his old buddies from Chrysler up in Greenfield at Jersey's and they try to help each other out. A couple of them actually have new jobs.

Jenny: Well, you know Michael offered him a job at the garage the last time he saw him.

Julieanne: I know, I really appreciate it but Dan says he just can't work for less than $26 an hour. He put in four years after he got out of high school to get to that much and he deserves it. He'll find something that pays soon, I just know it.

Jenny: Okay honey, I just worry about you.

Julieanne: I know, you're supposed to you are my maid of honor.

Jenny: That reminds me. Is everything taken care of over at the VFW for the reception?

Julieanne: Sure is. I wish Mom and Dad could understand why I left Linus at the alter. If they could then maybe they would see fit to help me have a real nice wedding this time. It really upsets me that they can't help me pay for this reception.

Jenny: well honey, they spent almost 20 grand on the last wedding and it didn't even happen.

Julieanne: I know, I know but it's not like they don't have it.
Oh, Dan's pulling up, I better get going. Love ya.

Jenny: okay, call me tomo........
(Julieanne hangs up the phone before Jenny finishes)

Camera pans to the gravel drive.
Dan is flying down the county road towards the drive way.
He turns in and almost drives into the yard.

Julieanne rushes into the house where she starts grabbing food from the refridgerator and starts dinner.

Dan stumbles from his car and almost falls down the porch. The screen door slams behind him.

Dan: You bitch!I can't even believe you invited that dick to our weddin.

Julieanne: honey, who are you talking about?

Dan: Don't act so innocent. I can see it in your eyes. You still want him. Don't you. I am so sick of this shit. Where's my PBR? I told you to bring me home a case of PBR!

Julieanne: Just relax, sit down on the couch. It's right here in the fridge, I'll get you one.

Dan: What the hell am I supposed to think when the phone wakes me up at noon and it's that sonofabitch Linus leaving you a message saying he will be at the wedding?

Julieanne: Oh, I didn't really think he would accept the invitation, Jenny Just told me I should send him one to be polite.

Dan: Well, you should have. That good for nothin bitch should keep outta things.

Julieanne: She didn't mean any harm and why were you sleeping at noon? (slightly annoyed and angered that he called he best friend a bitch) You left this morning when I got home from Wal-Mart and you were SUPPOSED to be out looking for work while I was at the beauty shop.

Dan: You better get off my gotdanged back and leave me the hell alone. I look for work everyday. You know that! Now give me that beer.

Julieanne: Get your own beer! (as she bursts into tears)

(she storms into the bedroom and leaves the dinner sizzling on the stove)

Dan staggers after her. He tries to open the door but she has locked it.

Dan: you better open this fucking door up right now!

Julieanne: no, your drunk, just leave me alone.

Dan: This is your last chance! Open it up or else!

Julieanne: OR ELSE WHAT?

Dan slams through the door. You can see him backhand Julieanne and the camera pulls back out of the room as you here Dan beating her as she pleads with him to stop.